


Larry Stylinson - I'm only human (and I bleed when I fall down)

by MaddyTheStylinson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Angst, But it's essential, Chaptered, First chaptered story, Homosexuality denial, Inspired in the song "Human" by Christina Perri, Like 'Get you tissues ready' angst, M/M, Oh! Happy Ending!, Past Elounor Relationship, You'll have to leave feedback if you want to know what happens next ;), You'll understand if you read, hope you like it, it's just mentioned, louis is confused
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-05-10 02:10:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5565043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddyTheStylinson/pseuds/MaddyTheStylinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a harsh breakup with the beautiful model Eleanor Calder, Louis has been angry at himself. He blamed his closeness to his best friend and band mate, Harry Styles, as the reason for the sudden breakup. He was so mad... Love confessions ensue.</p><p>Or the one where Harry finds out Louis is heartbroken to the point where he cuts their pictures to pieces and they fight. Happy ending eventually, because I can't write sad endings... xD</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm only human, and I crash and I break down

**Author's Note:**

> I just had the idea. xD I had to write one where Eleanor is not a total bitch / a beard. She's very sweet on this one, so... :) Hope you like it! There will be a happy Larry ending to this! Don't worry! ;) Enjoy! <3

The air still felt slightly heavy whenever her name was brought up. Louis would flinch at it, feeling a louder thump of his heart against his ribs. It didn't hurt as much as it had the five months before, but it was all too much for him.

 

His relationship with Eleanor came to an end after 2 years of ups and downs when the girl said she was 'fed up' with all the rumours going around about him and Harry, his bandmate. Louis had tried to calm her down, thinking she was only on a bad day and that this would be one of their 'normal' fights.

 

But it wasn't.

 

The beautiful brunette had started crying and said it was over. Said she was done. She couldn't make it anymore, as she felt that Louis was, indeed, closer to his friend than her.

 

She was sweet enough to tell Louis that she loved every minute spent with him, and she would never make him choose between his friends and her, but she also added that she knew the truth. He just had to figure it out yet, even though it was pretty obvious to everyone else.

 

Then, Eleanor left the room and, consequently, Louis's life.

 

Five months later, here Louis was, feeling slightly better, but still with a broken heart. His hair was slightly greasy and his clothes were the same he had chosen two days ago.

 

He looked through the many channels on the TV, not finding anything interesting.

 

Louis thought. He thought long and hard. About him and Eleanor. About their relationship. About it's ending. About this 'truth' Eleanor had mentioned. About her insecurities due to his and Harry's close friendship. And, eventually, about him and Harry.

 

Was his ex-girlfriend referring to them when she said she knew that he still had to organise his thought and find out who he was?

 

In all honesty, Louis was devastated. He didn't know what to do, or even think anymore! There was Eleanor and everything they had been through. And he was so hurt about it all that he was almost 100% sure he was still in love with her.

 

But then... Harry.

 

No! Never! Harry was his best friend, for crying out loud! And he was a guy! Like Louis! He had wiped his tears when Louis came home with a broken heart!

 

This whole 'Larry' bullshit had to end! He was so tired that it almost made him hate Harry! And that was saying a lot!

 

As the thought flooded the blue eyed boy's mind, he felt his anger pumping through his veins, his fists clenching on his leg and the TV remote.

 

It was all his own fault for being so touchy with Harry! He wasn't gay, for God's sake! Hell no!

 

He didn't have anything against gays or whatever, but him?! No! He couldn't! He wasn't! He loved Eleanor!

 

Infuriated by all the things flying around his head, Louis stood up and went to his room, where he took a small box out from under his bed, peeking inside of it.

 

The tears started running down his cheeks involuntarily as he was faced with pictures of him and the curly, green eyed boy that had made him smile since the day they met in the bathrooms of the singing competition.

 

Louis fiercely wiped them away and sniffled. He threw the small pictures out of the box and ran to his desk, picking a scissor up and going back to the bed.

 

And the truth, at that moment, was one: he wasn't thinking. He wasn't controlling himself when he did it.

 

He quickly cut them all into tiny shreds, just like he felt his heart. He cried loudly, reducing the beautiful memories into little nothings.

 

"L-Lou?", a weak voice cut his movements.

 

Louis's head snapped up and he gasped, feeling the scissor slipping out of his fingers. "H-Harry...", he sobbed out, trying to hold in his tears.

 

Even though Louis's vision was blurry and his eyes stung from crying so hard, he could perfectly make out Harry's outlines as he raised a hand to his mouth.

 

And then he heard him. His broken voice reaching Louis's heart like a thousand knifes.

 

"What did you do, Lou?", his voice strained at the end, the lump evidently growing in his throat.

 

Louis shook his head and stood up, the anger at himself providing him enough adrenaline to the point he wasn't filtering what he said anymore. "Shut up! You don't know what I feel!", he yelled, clenching his fists by his sides.

 

Harry was too shocked to talk for the next ten minutes, just letting Louis babble on about what a miserable life he had, how shitty he felt after his harsh breakup with Miss Perfection (Harry did /not/ hate Eleanor, at all! She was a very nice girl. It was just Louis. It was always Louis...).

 

But one statement slipped out of Louis's lips that made Harry let his tears finally fall.

 

"You know nothing, Styles! I had the perfect girlfriend but because of you being so fucking touchy she broke up with me! And now I have nothing, get it?! Nothing!", he shouted, feeling his vocal chords failing. "I feel like shit and--"

 

"Well, now you know how I felt when you two started dating!", Harry interrupted him with a shout, louder than any of Louis's.

 

The boy's blue eyes widened at Harry's harsh tone and statement. He stepped back, afraid that Harry was actually losing control on himself.

 

"How do you think I feel, Louis?! I've always been here! Always for you! Do you even imagine how many times I neglected myself just to help /you/? And you know why?", he paused to take a deep breath. "Because I fucking love you, Louis Tomlinson!", he broke into tears, bitting his bottom lip every time a louder sob threatened to escape his throat. "I love you so much it hurts! It hurts because I know you don't love me and--", he cut himself off to cry harder.

 

"Harry, I--"

 

"Shut up, Tomlinson! Just shut up! Shut up!", Harry yelled furiously. He stared into Louis's soul with his deep green eyes (almost black now). He silently looked over the shorter boy's shoulder and walked over to the bed.

 

Louis turned around and watched his every move carefully.

 

Harry sniffled, picking up the larger pieces there were left from the pictures they had collected along the years. He closed his hand around one of them. It was a piece of a picture where their hands were intertwined.

 

The curly boy inhaled deeply and looked up at Louis. "I don't know if you think this is wrong - y'know, being gay or bi or whatever - but I don't really care right now... You're just lucky I love you too much to even hate you at this point.", he said while he stood up and walked closer to Louis, stopping right in front of him. "But believe me when I say there's nothing I want more right now than to hate you, Louis.", he coldly said while he walked past the boy.

 

The older boy stood there, shaking uncontrollably, heartbroken. And he knew now. It wasn't because of Eleanor.

 

It was Harry.

 

Louis fell to his knees and cried in his hands.

 

"I love you Harry...", he whispered to himself, knowing he was alone in the house again after hearing the front door slam shut.


	2. I'm only human (and I crash and I break down)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little more crying... Sorry! :( Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and comments! :) Thank you for reading!

"Could you pass me the salt, please?", Niall asked in a whisper.

 

He didn't really need to speak any louder for the boys to hear, since the silence that filled the room was so 'loud' that it was disturbing.

 

This events took place three days after Harry's and Louis's fight. Of course, in the meantime, the rest of the band (as well as some members of the staff that were with them almost daily) were informed about the situation.

 

Liam had tried to talk to Harry, but that ended up with him spending almost two hours to get the curly lad to stop crying. And, obviously, he didn't get him to talk.

 

Then, it was Zayn's turn. The boys figured that, with his calmness, maybe he could make Harry at ease enough to let it all out. But they ended up sitting in an awkward silence for about half an hour as Harry motionlessly looked at the TV screen.

 

In a last attempt, they sent Niall to do the job. He tried to make Harry talk with his goofiness and funny jokes (attempting, at the same time, to make him happier).

 

But none of it worked. So they came to the conclusion that the only one who could actually make him happy was... Louis.

 

"No!", the blue eyed boy yelled with his eyes wide open. "Absolutely /not/! Liam, are you crazy?! This is all my fault! There's no way he's going to talk to /me/ if he hasn't even talked to his sister or his mother!", he reasoned.

 

They had tried to reach out to Anne and Gemma too. They could always help him when the other four young men couldn't. But not this time.

 

"Exactly Louis! It's all /your/ fault! So you should go and fix it!", Niall said, already pushing the boy towards Harry's dressing room, where they knew he was sat, watching TV until his eyes bled.

 

Louis fought against Niall's tight grip, and he would have succeeded, if it wasn't for Zayn and Liam helping him.

 

"Now, off you go, talk to your best friend - who happens to be heartbroken because of you - and fix everything to make it as it was before!", Liam said.

 

"Or better! We wouldn't mind that!", Zayn completed.

 

Louis groaned and pushed against all of them, yelling at them how stupid the idea was (because it really /was/ stupid...), but to no avail.

 

In the blink of an eye, Niall was knocking at the door, Harry was sighing (audibly) and yelling a quick 'What?', and Louis was being pushed inside the room after the door was opened swiftly (and closed right after his feet were both inside).

 

For a few seconds, he just stood there, with Harry's back facing him as he was laying on the couch (somewhat relaxed). Louis realised Harry hadn't noticed who was in the room with him, or else he would have already jumped to his feet and left. Or worse, shouted at Louis for /him/ to leave and shut the door closed after he kicked him out of there.

 

It didn't take long though, for Harry to notice the strange and thick silence that filled the place, even after someone else came in.

 

So he curiously turned his head around to peek in the door's direction and... well, wow! Of all people, this was his last choice to be with in a closed and tiny space (it's surprising how fast his feelings have gone numb).

 

He turned back around and sighed loudly. "What?"

 

That one word stabbed Louis's heart and ripped it off his chest. But he tried to get himself together and cleared his throat. "The... Uhm, well, the boys thought I should talk to you."

 

Harry chuckled so sarcastically that Louis didn't even recognise his best friend (and, well, 'crush'). The older male waited for a sassy (or mean) comment, but none came. Just that tiny chuckle. And maybe it was good! ... Right?!

 

"Haz?", he whispered.

 

Yup, okay. Biggest mistake ever...

 

Harry sprang up to his feet and looked at his shorter... friend? ... fiercely. "Don't.", he growled in an angry voice, his fists closed tightly next to his limp body (that almost fell over as he tried to stand up).

 

Louis frowned. "H-Harry. Have you... Have you been eating anything?"

 

Harry didn't change his dominant attitude and just kept staring at Louis, his eyes a darker shade of green, with huge bags under them, and his lips almost as pale as his face.

 

Louis was starting to get frustrated and stepped closer. He expected Harry to step back, but he didn't. Instead, he stepped forward as well, as if he was warning Louis not to get any closer.

 

So Louis took a step back again, in hopes that it would make his bandmate see that he wasn't trying to attack him or invade his space.

 

"Harry, please. I just want to fix this.", he tried.

 

Harry laughed loudly, turning around again and running his hands through his chocolaty curls. "/You/... want to help /me/?", he turned to the older boy again and his smile faltered. "You had your chances Louis. But your stupid relationship was in the way. Every time. So no, I don't want your help. Now, leave.", he harshly ordered.

 

Louis didn't know what to do. He was trapped between a) staying and possibly ending up fixing everything (or make it worse, if /that/ was even possible, and lose Harry forever. Ouch.) or b) leaving and having to live with the fact that it could take years to have Harry talking to him again (if that ever happens. Ouch again.).

 

There were a lot of 'if's and 'or's in this, so Louis's decision was even harder.

 

"Haven't you heard me?", Harry raised his voice, getting Louis's full attention again.

 

"Harry, please! I just--"

 

"Get out!", Harry yelled, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

"Tell me you hate me!", Louis yelled back, trying to make Harry stop talking. His words were hurting Louis so badly that it was all he wanted. For Harry to stop.

 

The younger boy opened his eyes again and let his hand fall again. "What?", he asked astonished. His voice was lower again.

 

Louis sobbed and sniffled ('Oh shit! Don't cry, Louis! Be strong!', he told himself). "Tell me you hate me, Hazz.", he repeated.

 

Harry assumed his dominant attitude again and growled. "I said 'Don't'!"

 

Louis was confused for a second, but then he realised what the boy was referring to: the nickname.

 

"Sorry.", he immediately said in a shy voice. "Force of habit."

 

Harry rolled his eyes (like he had never done to Louis). "Lose it."

 

"Say it.", Louis interjected, ignoring Harry's behaviour.

 

A disturbing silence raised between them. Louis was just silently waiting for Harry to say those words. To see if he would. If he could. While Harry was just glaring at him intensely.

 

Slowly, the taller male towered over Louis. They were almost chest to chest now. Harry raised one hand and pointed an accusing finger at Louis. He took a deep breath through his nose before speaking.

 

"I still can't lie to you, Tomlinson."

 

And he turned around, laying on the couch again and flipping through the channels. "Out.", he mumbled.

 

Louis was in such a shock (maybe from Harry's last words, or maybe from the momentary fear that he was going to hit him) that it took him some seconds to get his feet moving, his eyes wide all the while.

 

As he grabbed the doorknob, he thought he had heard a muffled sniffle from behind himself, so he looked over his shoulder to see Harry laying in the same position he had been when the older boy entered the dressing room, only his body was now slightly shaking.

 

He just felt the need to run to his friend and hug him, but he knew it would be best to just leave.

 

So that's what he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated! Thank you!! <3


	3. Your words in my head, knifes in my heart.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will the boys be able to reason Harry? How is this affecting them too?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy my lovelies!

"I'm officially desperate.", Niall said, throwing his hands up exasperatedly.

 

Liam hummed and Zayn sighed, the three of them frustrated. They had been gathering almost daily, to see if they came up with any new ideas to make Harry join them again.

 

He had been distancing himself more and more since his and Louis's last talk in the younger boy's dressing room.

 

Now, almost a week later, the only times where they would see him laugh (or even smile) or hear him talk were in interviews, since they all agreed that the fans didn't deserve to suffer. 'There are enough of us living the consequences of this.', Zayn had stated one day. And he was absolutely right.

 

Louis was with them often, but he was just as numb as they imagined Harry to be, locked up in his dressing room or house.

 

"So what do we do?", Liam asked in a low voice, pulling at his hair slightly.

 

Zayn abruptly stood up. "Nothing! That's what! This is Louis's fault, and he has to grow a pair and go talk to the goddamn love of his life and make it better! For all of us!", he said in a stronger voice.

 

Liam stood up too. "Zayn, Louis caused it, but it wasn't intentional!", he argued.

 

"Oh, shut it Li! We all know the things he said! If I was to understand anyone's side better, it would be Harry's! He has loved Louis since their fucking audition! Seriously! How blind can one be?!"

 

"I know Z! But it's not Louis's fault! He thought he loved Eleanor!"

 

"And maybe he did, Liam! But he was just in such a denial that he ended up losing it all! Eleanor /and/ Harry!"

 

"Please, shut up!", Niall interrupted, shouting at them both.

 

Liam and Zayn looked at their friend and frowned, seeing him curled up in the couch he had been occupying and softly sniffling while he rocked himself back and forth.

 

Liam cooed and Zayn sighed defeatedly.

 

"I'm sorry, Ni.", Liam gently wrapped his arms around the blond boy, hugging him tightly.

 

"We didn't mean to fight.", Zayn completed, sitting on the couch's arm and rubbing his friend's back carefully.

 

Niall sniffled. "I know, it's just--", another sob broke his speech. When he recovered, he continued. "I hate fights. A-And... Louis and Harry are supposed to be together! I hate s-seeing them sad and mad at e-each other...", he hiccuped.

 

Liam whispered soothing words at him, pulling him closer in his arms.

 

Zayn suddenly looked up. "Lou...", he called.

 

Liam and Niall confusedly looked at him and then in the direction their bandmate was looking, spotting Louis standing at the door and looking at all of them.

 

"Louis...", Liam slightly greeted.

 

Louis nodded, acknowledging his friend's greeting. "I'm sorry.", he then added.

 

Niall stood up and walked closer to him. "We know, Lou... Just... You guys are my ship, you know?", he smiled a little.

 

Louis laughed slightly through his tears. "Your what?"

 

Niall explained that he believed in their love, so he 'shipped' them, just like 'more than half of the fandom!', he proudly announced. Louis chuckled sarcastically and looked at his feet.

 

"Well, I guess your ship just sank, buddy...", he whispered. Louis looked up again and smiled sadly at his irish friend, leaving the room afterwards.

*****

"Harry?", Liam called, knocking at his friend's dressing room's door.

 

No answer.

 

"Harry?!", Liam called louder.

 

Nothing again.

 

Liam frowned and knocked again. "Harry, I'm coming in!", he warned.

 

Slowly, the boy opened the door and peeked inside. When he saw no one, he called for his friend's name again, waiting for him to appear from the bathroom or something. He didn't.

 

Liam finally walked inside, looking around. The room was pretty clean. Which wasn't surprising, since it was Harry's. He had a tendency to clean everything up just because. Especially when he was nervous, or stressed...

 

Liam fished his phone from his pocket and dialled Harry's number. Though he was sure he wouldn't pick up, he tried anyway.

 

"I'm in the rooftop.", was all Harry said once he picked up before hanging up again.

 

Liam's eyebrows shot up and he looked at his phone's screen. "Well... okay."

 

He wasn't sure if that was an invitation for him to join the curly boy, but he went for it.

*****

Liam carefully opened the big glass door that led to the big rooftop of the building. There, in front of him, Harry was leaning on his elbows against the railings and looking down at the London streets.

 

"Harry?", Liam called.

 

The curly boy looked over his shoulder and nodded, turning his head back around.

 

Liam walked up to him and leaned on the railings too. "So..."

 

Harry didn't reply, so Liam cleared his throat.

 

"Uhm, I was gonna call you for lunch. The lads are in the kitchen already. We better go if we don't want Niall to eat everything up.", he chuckled, trying to make Harry laugh.

 

He didn't budge though.

 

Liam sighed. "Harry, mate, c'mon! This can't continue! The fans are noticing!", he tried to reason him.

 

Harry sighed too. "Liam, as selfish as this might sound, that's the last thing I'm worried about."

 

Liam nodded. "I know. But my point is that even people who don't know us at all see that something's wrong, lad.", he looked at the boy.

 

Harry nodded. "I got it, Li.", and that nickname made Liam believe that maybe, just maybe, they would get their friend back. "But... I just... I dunno what to do, Liam... I'm so mad at him! He really hurt me, y'know?", he said. Liam could tell there was a growing lump on his throat and fresh tears threatening to escape Harry's eyes.

 

"I know, Harry. But he misses you, he really does!"

 

Harry chuckled sarcastically (something he had been doing a lot lately). "No he doesn't, Liam!"

 

"Yes, he does!", Liam interjected. "He misses you because he loves you Harry! And not /just/ like a friend... Maybe I shouldn't be telling you all of this, but fuck it! We're all desperate at this point! We don't know what to do! He doesn't eat - even worse than you, since you /do/ eat, once in a while -, he doesn't sleep, last night, at the concert, he almost fainted backstage. Do you need me to go on?"

 

Harry looked at Liam, his eyebrows furrowed. "He doesn't love me, Liam! /I/ love /him/! That's it! What he did--"

 

"He did it out of frustration! Don't tell me you always accepted /this/ well the fact that you are bisexual, lad!"

 

Harry thought for a second. The truth is that he /hadn't/ always accepted the fact that he isn't straight. First, there was the confusion, mixed with a little bit of denial. Then, there was Louis, and that's when it was all very clear in his mind. He /is/ bisexual, and proud of it! Oh! And he is also undeniably in love with his beautiful best friend, Louis Tomlinson.

 

"Okay, you've got a point. But still! I didn't get to the point of cutting my pictures with him!", Harry said, shaking his head and turning around so his back was leaning against the railings.

 

His older friend stayed silent, looking at him as if he was in a deep thought while he secretly agreed (partly) with the curly boy.

 

"But I still care, Li.", Harry suddenly broke the silence. He looked down at his feet, like he was ashamed of his own behaviour the past week and a few days. "It's so hard for me to see him. He looks so... weak.", he whispered that last word, afraid that if he said it any louder, Louis would collapse on himself and break.

 

Liam nodded, feeling the tears wetting his own eyes. "That's 'cause he /is/ weak. Right now, he is."

 

Harry understood it. Hell, he wasn't exactly blind! Just... angry. But his heart still thumped louder whenever he heard Louis's name or even thought of it. Of him. His blue eyes were constantly piercing into his soul, and every time he closed his own, he couldn't stop his mind from wondering how amazing it would be if his lips could just /touch/ Louis's.

 

Everything about the boy was so perfect that it was annoying!

 

Well... Almost...

 

A hand in his shoulder interrupted his thoughts and he turned his head to see Liam's light brown eyes shining under the sun as he gazed at his bandmate. "Fix this, please. He's so lost, Harry... We all are.", he stated firmly, a tear spilling on his right cheek. He quickly wiped it away and sniffled.

 

And, then, he left. Just like that. Harry was left alone on that rooftop to think everything over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I continue????


	4. You build me up and then I fall apart ('Cause I'm only human)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry sets his mind up. Is he going to make the right decision? And if he does, is it worth anything? Expect the unexpected... ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you have been expecting this. Here you go! :) Hope you like it! :) And I'm sorry about it, kind of...

This is it... Harry had thought about everything, and he figured it would be best if he just sat down with Louis and had a long, calm conversation about all that had happened lately. He wasn't expecting everything to be fine from one day to the other, but maybe he could start by convincing Louis to eat. And keep it in his stomach... That would be good.

 

So now, only a few hours after his conversation with Liam, he was standing on Louis's dressing room door, where Paul said he was, trying to gather the courage to knock on it.

 

Without thinking any further, his knuckles tapped on the wood three times.

 

He waited for an answer, but when none came, he knocked again. And again. And again.

 

His eyebrows furrowed and he rested his ear against the door, just to see (well, hear) if Louis really /was/ there. He heard nothing, though.

 

The younger member of the band was starting to get worried, so he knocked again and finally called for the other boy, saying he was coming in.

 

He even waited a little longer to see if Louis would answer and tell him not to go /in/ and, instead, go /away/. When nothing happened, it was time for Harry to do something.

 

So he oh-so-softly opened the door (he told himself it was not to startle Louis, but deep down he knew it was because he was frightened) and walked inside.

 

"Louis?", he called again.

 

No sound. He was al-- wait! What was... /that/?! There was someone in the bathroom, he was sure. The lights were on, he could tell (due to the one thin stripe escaping the small space from under the door).

 

"Louis, are you in there?", he half yelled, now closer to the door.

 

However, the room was as silent as the one he was in. Well, that's weird...

 

"Louis, I'm getting slightly worried over here. Should I?", he now fully yelled right next to the door.

 

When he realised he was just talking alone, he kind of panicked. Maybe he should just go in, right?! Check on Louis. Or maybe the boy wasn't answering because he didn't want to, because he wanted Harry to go away!

 

All of this was overwhelming Harry, so he did the logical thing.

 

"Louis, I'm coming in! If you want me to go away then, just yell at me, okay?", and he didn't wait for an answer to push the door open.

 

Shock. Absolute shock. There, in front of him, Louis was laying on the ground, hair disheveled, eyes shut closed, breathing slowed down.

 

Harry kneeled down next to his sleeping body, calling his name frantically and slightly slapping his cheeks. What had Louis done? Had he done this on purpose or did he just faint from the lack of food?

 

"Louis, please wake up! Boo! Help!", he yelled the last word, hoping someone would hear him.

 

In a rush, Zayn was at the door.

 

"Harry, what's wr-- Oh my god! Louis!", he kneeled down next to Harry. "What happened?"

 

Harry cried and sobbed and sniffled in panic. "I-I don't know, Z! He was like this when-when I came in! I was gonna talk to him but--", he broke down in tears, leaning his forehead against the passed out boy's and closing his eyes. "Boo, please come back! It's me! I-It's Hazza! Please!", he whispered over and over again, hoping this was all just a stupid joke and Louis would all of a sudden open his eyes and laugh at him.

 

Right now, he wouldn't even mind it!

 

The next half an hour was all a blur of people walking in and out of the room, yelling at each other in frustration and worry, while Harry simply leaned against the wall opposite of Louis and looked at no one in particular, rocking himself back and forth as he hugged his knees tightly to his chest.

 

He wasn't even hearing anything anymore. Not Liam next to him, calling for him and probably trying to sooth him, not Niall, crying and hiding his face in Zayn's shoulder, not Zayn, looking at everyone and trying to help in any way possible, not Simon, freaking out about what to do while the ambulance was on it's way, not Paul, holding Louis's head and keeping up with the slight slaps in order to wake him up... Nothing.

 

There was just this slight buzzing in his ears. A high-pitched sound that overpowered all the other noise in the small bathroom.

 

And it kept ringing. Nonstop. Loud and clear.

 

It kind of reminded him of the sound of those hospital machines, when someone... well, you know what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I keep going or are you tired of this? Please let me know if it's worth it, if I should continue. :) Thank you!


	5. "I can turn it on (be a good machine)"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the hospital, and in a moment of weakness, everything had to be solved.
> 
> It just has to...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long! I was supposed to post this two days ago but some things happened and I honestly didn't feel like writing anything... But here it is! :)

"Harry, stop!", Liam half yelled as he grabbed Harry by the shoulders, spinning him around. "That won't help.", he said, more calmly now.

 

Harry was chewing on his nails and holding in his tears. "I know.", he mumbled between tiny bites at his nails.

 

Liam sighed and pulled him in a hug. "He's going to be just fine. I mean, he's Louis Tomlinson! He has to!", Liam chuckled, trying to cheer his friend up.

 

Harry sniffled and let his tears fall silently, shaking in Liam's arms.

 

Niall joined their hug and tightened his arms around Harry's shaking body. "It's gonna be okay, Hazz."

 

"Promise?", the curly boy sniffled and looked at him, resting his head on Liam's shoulder.

 

The blond patted his head and smiled. "I promise."

 

They had been waiting in the hospital's waiting room (a private one) for about one hour now. That wasn't a lot, but for the four boys it seemed like an eternity. They still hadn't had news from their older friend.

 

Meanwhile, Harry was panicking because he didn't get the chance to solve everything with Louis. And it was killing him slowly...

 

There was still the slight buzz in his ears. The one he had heard in the bathroom when Louis was fainted, laying there. But it was stronger now, and getting worse as time passed by.

 

A doctor walked in.

 

"Louis Tomlinson?", he said, looking from his clipboard.

 

The four band members walked closer to him, almost running over the poor man.

 

"How is he, Sir?", Harry sniffled again, looking wide-eyed at the older man.

 

The doctor fixed his glasses in the bridge of his nose and nodded. "He's sleeping, but he will be okay."

 

A chorus of sighs and 'Yes's erupted from the nervous boys.

 

The doctor cleared his throat getting their attention again. "The fainting was a result of the few food he's been ingesting. Has he been eating lately? Anything at all?", he asked, looking at all of them.

 

Liam stepped in. "Well, not exactly... He has been... skipping meals.", he gulped.

 

The man nodded again, writing something down on his papers and taking his glasses off afterwards. "Well, he's good to go tomorrow. We will keep him tonight for further observation, but tomorrow he can go home.", everyone cheered again. "However...", the doctor interrupted again, lifting one eyebrow. Once the silence settled in again, he spoke. "... he will need a lot of help and observation, /even/ when he gets out of here. So I need you boys to promise me you'll keep an eye on him."

 

They all agreed immediately, willing to do whatever to help their friend.

 

"I also suggest someone stay with him at night, to make sure he is okay. It will be a lot of work, so it should be someone able to take care of him in any circumstances."

 

They all looked at Harry discretely.

 

"We'll take care of it, don't worry.", Zayn confirmed.

 

One more nod and the doctor was turning around to leave. He suddenly stopped in his tracks and looked back at them. "Oh! And make sure you don't put too much pressure on him. So, basically, easy on the concerts boys.", he smiled softly and finally left.

 

After the initial seconds of cheering and crying, they went to the room they knew Louis was in and knocked softly.

 

"Come in.", they heard a soft, weak voice say.

 

Niall looked at his friends before pushing the door open and stepping inside, followed by Liam, whispering a quiet 'Hey!' to the boy laying on the bed inside.

 

Zayn was about to step in when Harry pulled his arm, making him stumble outside again. The slightly older boy looked at his taller friend with a raised eyebrow. "You're goin' in, yeah?!", he asked.

 

Harry blushed a little and looked down, still holding onto Zayn's wrist. "Sure. But I... I think I need some water first.", he nodded his head towards the water machine at the end of the corridor.

 

Zayn nodded slightly and patted his friend's shoulder. "You go. But come back, okay?", he smiled.

 

"'Kay...", Harry whispered, turning around as Zayn did too. But he returned his attention to Zayn again, calling for him. When he got his attention, he told Zayn his biggest fear at the moment. "What if he feels too pressured? Maybe this isn't the right time to talk about what happened."

 

Zayn chuckled. "Just do it, mate... I think he deserves it, don't you?", and he walked in.

*****

"Hey, lad.", Zayn half whispered when he saw Louis looking at him. He closed the door behind him and walked closer to the bed. "How ya doin', mate?"

 

Louis shrugged softly and gave him a weak smile. "How one would expect me to be."

 

Zayn nodded and smiled back at him, running a hand through his feathery hair roughly and playfully, chuckling when Louis groaned and huffed.

 

"Where's Harry?", he asked looking around. "Is he /that/ mad at me?", he closed his eyes, trying to relax by stretching on the bed.

 

"No! Of course n--", Niall cut himself off when they heard the door clicking open.

 

They all looked over and in walked the younger of them, his hands shaking as they held an empty plastic cup and his eyes shining brightly.

 

Silence filled the room as Niall, Liam and Zayn expectantly waited to see what would happen.

 

Harry slowly walked closer to them, putting the cup on Louis's bedside table and standing right next to his head, looking lovingly down at him.

 

The tears rushed down his cheeks and a violent sob left his lips as he covered them with one hand.

 

"Haz-- Harry...", Louis corrected before even finishing the nickname, afraid it would send Harry into another anger attack.

 

Then, the unexpected happened. Harry launched himself at Louis, sitting next to him and crying freely on the boy's neck.

 

Louis's eyes widened for a second as he looked at the others, who shrugged at him and smiled. The older boy finally wrapped his free arm around Harry, the other one being trapped under his body.

 

"I was so scared, Boo...", Harry whispered, shaking violently.

 

Louis shushed him, rubbing his back. "I'm sorry, Hazz... I'm okay, I promise."

 

Harry pulled away from the embrace suddenly, wiping his tears and squeezing Louis's arm that was closer to him. "What did you do, Lou?", he said through gritted teeth, staring deeply into Louis's ocean blue eyes.

 

Louis sighed and turned his head, looking at the plastic cup that had once been in Harry's hands. "Nothing..."

 

Harry sobbed. "Exactly! Why?! You know how scared I was?! I was terrified, Louis! When I saw you laying there, I just...", he broke down again.

 

Louis looked at him again. "Y-You... found me?"

 

"I think we should leave.", Liam interrupted, grabbing Zayn's arm and wiping Niall's cheek, that had in the meantime been wet by his tears.

 

Without one single protest in the room, the three friends walked out, leaving Harry and Louis alone.

 

"I never meant to hurt you, Harry... Not today, not almost two weeks ago... Never.", he stated, letting his tears run down his cheeks and reach the white pillow supporting his head. "I'm so sorry...", he choked out.

 

Harry hugged him again and they stayed there, crying into each other's necks, the smell of the other being a comforting thing for both of them at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! :) Thank you for reading! Do I continue?? Or are you not interested anymore?? Let me know! :) Thank you! Kudos and comments are appreciated!


	6. I can hold the weight of worlds if that's what you need (be your everything)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis finally goes home. Now, more than ever, it's important that he and Harry talk about everything. He needs rest and peace and quiet to fully recover. But, well... It's hard for Harry. He really loves Louis...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait!! Lots of work at school!! :((( Anyway, hope you enjoy it!

"Welcome home, Louis.", Harry smiled as he opened the door to Louis's apartment.

 

The boy smiled softly, thanking him and entering his house. He took a deep breath and went straight to his room, dragging a small suitcase behind him.

 

After they got out of the hospital, bringing Louis with them, the boys had talked to their manager, Simon, and they all agreed that it would be best if they had two weeks to do whatever. Rest, sleep, recover.

 

They also decided Harry should go with Louis, since they were such close friends. The tension was still there. They still hadn't talked about everything, but most of it had been discussed, so they were good.

 

"Hey, Hazz!", Louis called from his room.

 

Harry hung his jacket up on the coatrack and took his boots off, making his way to his friend.

 

"Yes?", he asked while he joined the blue eyed boy in his room.

 

Louis sat on his bed and patted an empty spot next to him. Harry accepted his offer and they were next to each other now.

 

"There's some things we need to talk about, I guess.", Louis started, looking at his lap.

 

Harry nodded. "Yeah, definitely..."

 

The silence stretched for a second too long and Louis cleared his throat. "Uhm, right. I just, like... For starters, I wanted to apologise. You know, like, for the pictures. I... I dunno why I did it. I mean, I do! I just... Ugh! I dunno what I was even thinking! I regret it so much! I just wish I would've stopped myself and saved one of them... Like, they were so important and I--", he was rambling before he got interrupted by Harry pressing his palm against Louis's lips.

 

The feathery haired boy looked at him confused.

 

Harry smiled shyly and reached his jeans' pockets, taking out of it a small piece of... something.

 

He handed it to Louis and shrugged. "I couldn't get rid of it, y'know?"

 

Louis looked down and gasped, Harry's hand being removed from his lips. He took the small piece of one of their cutest pictures (he had it imprinted on his mind), one where they were holding hands, sort of...

 

"Hazz...", Louis whispered, running the pads of his fingers on it.

 

"Don't worry about those pictures, Boo. We'll make a lot more memories! And a lot happier from now on! Promise!", Harry said, smiling widely and raising his pinky.

 

Louis chuckled and laced his own pinky with Harry's. "Thank you, Sweetcheeks.", he laughed with his friend, remembering the time where they gave each other stupid nicknames.

 

"So we're good?", Harry asked, looking into Louis's eyes.

 

Louis's smile faltered slightly and he frowned, shaking his head while he turned his eyes to his lap again. "Not... quite.", he mumbled.

 

Harry frowned too and leaned down slightly, trying to see Louis's face clearly. "Why?"

 

"Well, there's... There's something you said that... Well, it made me think.", Louis stuttered.

 

"Wow! Think?", Harry playfully said, hearing his bandmate chuckle.

 

"Shut up.", Louis muttered. He took a deep breath. "You said...", he cut himself off, hesitating to bring it up.

 

"I said...", Harry encouraged.

 

"Please don't get mad at me, but..."

 

Seeing Louis was hesitating, Harry sighed. "Lou, I won't. We need to talk about this! We can't just keep ignoring each other, can we?", he gently asked.

 

Louis shook his head and looked at Harry. "You said you loved me...", he reminded. After a few seconds of silence he continued. "Do you?"

 

Harry was taken aback by this. After everything they had been through the past few days, the last thing he wanted was to fight with Louis again. But he knew he had to come clean about it. He couldn't just lie! Not to Louis, anyway.

 

He slowly nodded and it was his turn to look down at his lap. "I do. I love you, Louis."

 

Louis's breath caught in his throat and he nodded too. "Okay."

 

Harry looked at him and furrowed his eyebrows. "Okay..."

 

Louis shook his head as if in disbelieve. "I just... I need time, and I--"

 

"I got it, Louis.", Harry interrupted. They looked at each other and Harry smiled sadly (he tried to hide it, but he couldn't...). "I don't want to pressure you. I can't make you love me the way I love you, but... I understand you. Don't worry! We're good.", he assured.

 

And he was being honest, is the thing. He understood Louis's side. After his talk with Liam, he was reminded of how hard it is to accept such a huge change as your sexuality. He still didn't know if Louis was gay, bi, straight, or what. He had the impression Louis didn't know either. And it was most likely that he didn't.

 

"Thank you so much, Hazz. For understanding and all.", Louis smiled, hugging Harry tightly, not even a little bit afraid of doing so. Why would he?! Harry was his best friend, for god's sake!

 

And he loved him! But he decided it would be best if he kept that a secret. At least for now.

*****

"Everything is fine, Zayn. Don't worry. Tell Liam and Niall to relax. We haven't killed each other yet.", Harry teased his friend through the phone.

 

Louis laughed from his spot next to Harry on the couch. He was curled up and wrapped in his white and blue blanket that matched Harry's, his feet were propped up on Harry's lap.

 

"Okay, don't worry. I'll tell him.", Harry spoke into the phone. "Fine. Bye. Love you too, mate. Take care.", he finally hung up.

 

"Well?", Louis asked.

 

"Zayn told me to give you some soup. And tea. And water. Oh! And pancakes. He says they always cheer him up.", Harry chuckled.

 

Louis laughed and nodded. "Yeah, okay. Well, I think I'm doing good. I mean, it's still a bit hard for me to stuff my mouth and tummy with food, but... I'm getting there.", he smiled proudly.

 

Harry smiled fondly at him and nodded, rubbing his legs softly. "Yes you are, Boo. And I'm proud!"

 

They found themselves trapped in each other's eyes, just staring at one another. They didn't know how long it had been since this staring 'competition' started when Harry cleared his throat and looked away, blushing.

 

"Right, uhm... Tea?", he asked, standing up and gently putting Louis's legs on the couch.

 

"Sure.", the older boy nodded, hiding his blush under the blanket and pretending he was just getting cosy under it.

 

"Okay, I'll... I'll be right back. Right.", Harry rambled, turning on his heels and heading to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I continue or nah?! Thank you for reading! :) Hope you like it so far! :) And you should totally read "Soft hands, Fast feet, Can't lose", by dolce_piccante !!! :)))))))


	7. I can do it! I can do it! I'll get through it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It isn't that easy to recover, but with Harry by his side, Louis is positive he will make it. There's just a constant struggle. But he's strong. He has to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so so sorry for the long wait! There's so much going on in my life right now... I get home late and barely have time to do homework, let alone write something just for fun... But I swear I'll try to be faster now. I really need this, anyway. Enjoy!

One week had passed, and Louis was struggling to eat more. He was trying, he really was! And for the first few days, it looked like he would be able to do it with no effort what-so-ever.

 

But the task proved to be harder than it seemed.

 

"Louis, please! I made your favourite! Chicken wrapped in parma ham, stuffed with mozzarella, right?", Harry whined, pushing the tray out of his best friend's lap and putting it on the bedside table located beside the shorter boy's bed.

 

Louis sighed and held his stomach, curling his legs so his knees were pushed up to his chest. "I can't do it, Hazz! I can't! Please, don't make me!", he said with tears filling his eyes.

 

Harry sighed too and pulled the boy in a hug. "It's okay, Boo. I'm sorry for doing this to you... I'm just worried! And you have to keep eating! Please, Lou! For me! Just a little bit!", Harry's voice caught in his throat as the big lump forming there got in the way.

 

Louis sniffled and wiped his eyes quickly. He looked deeply into Harry's eyes and cried harder. "I'm so tired of this, Hazz... I want to eat but I--", he sobbed loudly. "I can't! P-Please! Don't m-make me!", he begged, shrinking to a tiny, vulnerable form.

 

Harry's heart broke at the sight and he cried along with the boy he fell in love with. "Lou, I have to, you know that! I want you to get better!", Harry apologised with his eyes, the tears rushing down.

 

He had never seen Louis, the jumpy, always happy bundle of joy, so sad. His ray of sunshine was now glowing softly, his hair disheveled, his eyes almost grey, his skin so pale it could be mistaken with Harry's, his wrists so thin that Harry was sure that if he held them with a little bit of force they would break.

 

Harry didn't know what to do. He wished he could kiss him deeply and love him the way Louis deserved to be loved. But then he remembered he was the cause of all of this. It made him hate himself so much...

 

"Hazz, what're you th-thinking about?", Louis mumbled, bitting his bottom lip to prevent it from trembling.

 

Harry shook his head. "Nothin' Boo. How 'bout this? I'll make you some tea instead and we'll cuddle and watch Bambi, okay?", he smiled the best he could.

 

Louis giggled between his sniffles and nodded, getting under the covers. "Okay."

*****

"Hazz, is it too much?", Louis softly asked.

 

They were watching the movie, as planned, and it was already in the end. Harry frowned and looked down at his chest, where Louis's head rested.

 

"What's too much, Boo?", he confusedly asked, rubbing Louis's back gently.

 

Louis looked up innocently and blinked at his friend. "This.", he said, squeezing his waist a little bit more. "Is it too much?"

 

Harry kept the same confused expression. "Why would it be? We always do this.", he stated, shrugging slightly.

 

Louis hummed and looked at the screen again, hiding his face in an angle where he knew Harry wouldn't be able to see it. "I don't know..."

 

Harry thought for a second and then it hit him. He sighed heavily and carefully shook his arm to get Louis's attention. "Lou, look at me."

 

The feathery haired boy did and Harry slightly sat up, bringing Louis with him. "You're scared that I'll want some distance just because I love you and you don't love me back, is that it?", he genuinely asked.

 

Louis blushed and looked at his lap, fiddling with his hands as he tried to lie the best he could. "Sort of...", he admitted. In the end, he truly /was/ scared of losing Harry...

 

Harry nodded, more to himself than to his older bandmate, and took the boy's hands in his. "Hey.", he softly called. Louis looked up at him, locking his gaze with the younger boy's. "Even if I did - which I clearly don't! - I could never get away from you, Lou! You're my best friend above all, remember?", Harry nudged his side with his elbow softly.

 

Louis giggled and nodded. "Thank you Hazz...", he mumbled, leaning up to kiss his cheek and wrapping his smaller arms around Harry's torso again.

*****

"I'm only human! And I bleed when I fall down--", someone sang from the bathroom.

 

Louis shook his head fondly and leaned against the doorframe, listening to his friend.

 

"I'm only human! And I crash and I break down--", he continued.

 

Louis's smile faltered. He frowned and listened to the lyrics carefully, absorbing every word and inking it in his mind as if they were his own.

 

"Your words in my head, knives in my heart--"

 

He closed his eyes, and he was suddenly back in the park where he and Eleanor met up the last time he ever greeted her with a kiss. Her words were ringing in his ears again, the hurt in her voice. But also the hope that they could still be friends (of sorts) and keep in touch. And the never-faltering smile she always wore shone brightly in Louis's mind, along with the kiss on the cheek she gave him that afternoon before leaving.

 

"You build me up and then I fall apart--"

 

And now he was no longer with Eleanor at the park. He was in the X-Factor. But he was also in the studio. And in his apartment. And in the bowling alley he and the boys used to go to.

 

He saw him. His curls falling perfectly to form the shape he liked to keep. His green eyes piercing his soul. His laugh making Louis giggle every time. His hand wiping away Louis's tears. His shoulder supporting Louis's head as they cuddled.

 

Harry.

 

"'Cause I'm only human!", the last line faded slowly. Then a lower humming sound, as if Harry was ending the song.

 

Louis shook his head and went to his room, shutting the door behind himself and falling onto his bed. He looked up at the ceiling and sighed heavily.

 

"I love you so fucking much Harry Styles..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Is it worth it? Do I keep going? If not, I'll stop and go on with one-shots. Be honest! Thank you so much for reading! Please comment and leave kudos if you liked it! :)


	8. I can hold my breath (I can bite my tongue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evetually, they will have to tell everyone that something is going on. Louis isn't ready to perform yet, and the fans are getting worried. So the boys decide it's time to tell everyone the truth and ask them for their support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait again. My life is a mess right now, so I'll need your support through this. My grandmother was diagnosed with lungs cancer today. Please understand that I will probably take a little longer to update and such. Thank you for the support and for reading this story! All my love. - M .xx

"Lou, the car is here!", Harry called out from the living room.

 

"I'm coming!", Louis yelled back.

 

In two hours, the boys had a meeting with Simon to discuss band-related issues. There were concerts planned, meet and greets arranged, interviews scheduled, and so on. However, the boys all agreed that it was too soon for Louis to go back on stage, especially since he started struggling a little more again.

 

In an hour and a half, the boys found themselves in the big building where they were supposed to meet Simon and their management. They still had to wait some minutes because their bosses were having another meeting, so they sat in a small 'waiting room' just talking to each other.

 

"Boys? Let's go.", a muscular man said, turning around and leading the way to Simon's office.

 

"Hazz?", Louis whispered, tugging on his taller friend's sleeve.

 

Harry looked down at him and smiled. "Yes?"

 

"I'm nervous...", Louis admitted in a small, shy voice.

 

The green eyed boy cooed at him and ruffled his hair. "Don't worry, Boo. We'll be there. Me and the boys have got your back!", he winked reassuringly.

 

Louis grinned and nodded.

 

"Sit down boys, if you will.", the older man said in his deep voice.

 

They all took a sit in the comfortable chairs placed around the big table. Behind it Simon was sat, tapping his finger rhythmically on the expensive wood while he eyed them all.

 

"Any suggestions, boys?", was the first thing he said.

 

The five bandmates looked at each other and shook their heads in unison, looking down at their laps.

 

Simon sighed and rubbed his temples. "That's what I thought."

 

"Simon, if you'll excuse me...", Liam interrupted. At Simon's eyebrow raise and slight nod, he continued. "I don't have any suggestions on how we should proceed, to be honest. But I /do/ think that it's common sense not to put Louis out there. At least not yet.", he looked directly at the head of their management.

 

Louis took a deep breath and dried his sweaty hands on his jeans. The older male of the band squirmed under his boss' stare.

 

"I think you're right.", he finally said. "Louis is in no way ready to go on stage now."

 

The boys silently cheered and Niall squeezed Louis's arm, to which the shorter boy smiled.

 

"However...", Simon interrupted. "As you realise, we have to say something to the press. More importantly, to the fans.", his eyes landed on Louis again.

 

The boy nodded and looked down at his lap again. "I realise that, yeah. I'll tell them."

 

"This is a serious thing, Louis. We can't just tweet something about it. We have to book an interview."

 

They all nodded in agreement.

 

"When?", Zayn stepped in.

 

Simon shrugged. "I don't know, but I'll make it soon. This has to be solved. Especially since your concerts start in a month."

 

"Good. And until then?", Harry asked with an eyebrow raised.

 

"Just keep it quiet. The last thing we need - Louis needs - is problems."

 

The men dressed in black escorted them out of the building and into their cars. Liam went alone in one, since he was going out that afternoon, Niall and Zayn went to another car, with the purpose of going clubbing, and Louis and Harry refused, heading straight home to relax.

*****

The way there was the hardest part. Knowing what was about to go down, what was about to be exposed, and just have to wait for it was absolutely nerve-racking. Now, sitting in the small couch next to his four bandmates (with Harry right beside him), he felt a lot better.

 

"So Louis, how has it been? It's the first time I talk to you since your relationship with Eleanor came to an end. How are you feeling?", the interviewer finally asked.

 

Louis chuckled nervously and leaned slightly forward. He felt a big hand (obviously Harry's) running up and down his spine, making him feel much more relaxed. "Well, they were hard times, y'know?", he rhetorically asked. In his mind, the memory of cutting the pictures of him and his best friend was still recent. Perhaps that's what he was talking about. He really couldn't be sure. "But I'm better now.", he added finally. Louis glanced at his bandmates and took a deep breath. "But, uhm... There's been a few things going on that we'd like to tell our fans because they are the most important part of our careers and, therefore, our lives.", he looked at the camera briefly before turning his attention to the interviewer again.

 

A nod of approval from the woman was caught on camera. "Sure. Is everything alright?", she asked with a frown.

 

Louis exhaled and nodded. "Well, it is now. Almost. But...", his voice cracked slightly at the end.

 

Liam stepped in, like he always did when one of his 'brothers' needed help. "We have had some tough situation going on lately."

 

"But it's slowly getting better.", Niall smiled at his blue eyed friend.

 

Louis smiled back. "Yes, it is.", he looked at the camera again. "But maybe I should explain everything, right?", he chuckled.

 

"Be our guest!", the blonde chuckled too.

 

"Well, I... I went through some things after my breakup with Eleanor - who, for the record, is a great girl and who I care about deeply! - and I made some stupid mistakes and had some stupid attitudes towards the people who were closer to me.", he glanced at Harry. The curly boy only winked and smiled a little, but Louis noticed his smile was wavering and his eyes were watery. So, without turning his eyes away from the boy, he kept going. "And for that I'm terribly sorry. I probably don't deserve the friends and family I have, but I'm glad they're there.", he smiled and looked at all of his friends, who cooed and hugged him.

 

They all laughed, including the interviewer. "Our little boy!", Niall teased, ruffling Louis's hair.

 

The older band member complained briefly. "But, uhm... That took it's toll on me. And, well... It's not something I'm exactly proud of, but I... I started losing my appetite, and eventually I basically stopped eating - except for an occasional cup of tea, or something.", he shrugged. "I think some of you noticed. Y'know, we actually /do/ read some things on Twitter.", he chuckled.

 

The interviewer was visibly moved about it all, so she only nodded with a sad smile and motioned for Louis to keep going.

 

He did. "But I can assure you that I'm recovering with the help of amazing specialists and, more importantly, my family and this four guys here.", he pointed his thumbs over his shoulders and tilted his head to the side. "But, uhm... Yeah, so... There are some news that come from this. They're not very good, but I hope all of you understand, and I... Uhm... I want to let you know that... I'm genuinely sorry about this.", he lowered his head and sighed.

 

Harry slowly bent to place his mouth next to his friend's ear. "Want us to tell them?", he whispered.

 

Louis nodded and Harry hugged him shortly before looking over to the boys and nodding at them.

 

Liam opened his mouth to speak but Zayn interrupted him by putting his hand over the boy's mouth and looking at him apologetically.

 

"I'll speak this time, Liam.", he said. Zayn looked at the camera. "As you most certainly understand, Louis is still recovering from his little breakdown, so we need your support now more than ever.", he paused. "We decided that it's too early for our brother to go on stage right now, so we talked to our management about this and we will be on a little bit of a break for the next two months."

 

After discussing the details with Simon, they settled on a two month break. Louis thought it was enough for him to recover and they decided to take his word for it.

 

"But don't worry! After those two months we will be back stronger than ever! Louis will be completely okay, and we will all be right beside him through the process!", Liam smiled brightly.

 

They hugged again and the interviewer sniffled. "But will you be fine, Louis?", she asked in a concerned tone, voicing every fan's thought.

 

Louis smiled widely and nodded vigorously. "With everyone's support, I'm sure I will!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter. Sorry it's short. Leave kudos and comments as usual, lovelies. Thank you! .xx


	9. I can stay awake for days if that's what you want (be your number one)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The consequences of telling the world about Louis's situation are... well... as you'd expect them to be.
> 
> But there's more.
> 
> Just /one/ more consequence...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Hope you enjoy! Comments and kudos are very much appreciated! <3

The world went wild after the news of Louis's relatively fragile condition. At least their world did.

 

The fans had been amazingly (and not so surprisingly) supportive. Between signs and songs dedicated to him, they also trended #WeLoveLouis on twitter.

 

The media, on the other hand, started speculating about the band splitting apart, or Louis having some (more) serious complications, or even some fight between them all that had caused Louis so much stress that he ended up with an eating disorder.

 

Well, the part of the fight wasn't really a lie, but the gossip magazines had the talent to turn it into a major drama. As if the boys, their families, and their fans weren't suffering enough.

 

"What're you doing Boo?", Harry interrupted Louis's thoughts.

 

The older boy looked up and shrugged with a small smile. He gazed at his phone's screen again and sighed. "Just... the fans and all."

 

Harry sat down beside him on his bed and patted his knee. "What about them? They've been nice, yeah?", he asked gently.

 

Louis nodded effortlessly. "Yes, of course. That's not it. It's just...", he exhaled loudly. "I miss the chaos of being backstage, and the concerts, and the screams even..."

 

Harry cooed and hugged him quickly. "I know you do Louis. In no time, we'll be back out there, having the time of our lives, okay?", he smiled at his friend.

 

Louis smiled back. "Okay."

 

Harry winked and stood up. "I'll go make us lunch.", he informed before walking towards the door.

 

"Don't make too much, please!", Louis reminded.

 

Harry nodded and hummed. "I know, I know! Don't worry babe."

 

Louis chuckled and shook his head fondly, scrolling through his tweeter again. He looked up suddenly and, before Harry left, he called him back. "Oh! And Hazza?"

 

Harry stopped in his tracks and looked at him over his shoulder. "Yes?"

 

Louis stared at him for a few seconds. His mouth opened and closed but no words came out. He sighed and smiled, waving Harry off. "Nothing."

 

The curly one frowned. "Is everything okay?"

 

Louis nodded immediately. "Yeah, yeah. Fine. Just go. And thanks for taking care of me, by the way. I'd have starved by now if it wasn't for you Hazz."

 

Harry chuckled, his dimples popping out. "'F course you would.", he stated matter-of-factly before finally walking out the door.

 

Louis wasn't actually reading anything anymore. His mind kept thinking about whatever reason he had called Harry for, a few seconds ago.

*****

"So you're good?", Liam asked for the umpteenth time since he entered the house. He had stopped by to visit his friends.

 

"Yes, mate. Don't worry! I have Harry here, to take care of me, ain't that right Harold?", Louis teased, pinching Harry's cheek.

 

The youngest band member complained with a whine and slapped Louis's hand away, making the other two laugh.

 

"Well, okay than. I'll be going. Niall called me. He says he wants to have a movie evening. He would've called you two, but he said, and I quote, 'They'll be laughing all the time about each other's stupid grimaces'.", Liam explained, adding the quote marks to emphasise the idea that it wasn't his statement.

 

Harry gasped and clutched his heart in mock-offense. "We do no such things! That's an outrage!"

 

Louis giggled and punched him in his shoulder playfully. He then looked at their friend and stood up. "I'll walk you to the door.", he nodded towards the exit.

 

Liam nodded and stood up too, giving Harry a hug before walking to the exit of their house with Louis walking behind him.

 

When they reached the door, Liam turned around to face the blue eyed boy with a smile. "Well, see you soon, 'kay? Take care, lad!", he squeezed Louis's shoulder and pulled him in for a hug.

 

Louis hugged back and nodded in Liam's neck. "Sure thing, mate. Don't worry. I promise I'll be good.", he winked when they pulled apart.

 

Liam chuckled. "Right. Lou, can I ask you something?"

 

Louis nodded. "Sure. Go ahead."

 

Liam coughed slightly. "I just need to ask this so... Here goes nothing...", he took a deep breath and looked at his friend. "I know this is the last thing you've been thinking about, especially after everything, but... Do you or don't you like Harry? Like, like like."

 

Louis's eyes widened slightly and he slapped his hand on Liam's lips. "Are you crazy?! Say that any louder and Harry'll hear you!", he hissed, looking over his shoulder to see if they were still alone in the hallway. Once he confirmed they were, in fact, alone, Louis sighed and shook his head at Liam. "I... I don't know alright?!"

 

Liam raised an eyebrow and took Louis's hand off his mouth. "How could you not know?! It's your feelings mate! Or... not feelings, if you don't like him.", he shrugged.

 

Louis frowned in confusion. "W... What?!", Liam opened his mouth to speak but Louis shut him up. "Shush!", he said, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. "No. I don't wanna hear your weird explanations!"

 

"Hey! They're not wei--"

 

"However...", Louis raised his voice, looking straight into Liam's eyes. "Yes.", he sighed.

 

Liam waited a second. "Yes?"

 

Louis looked at his feet. "I do."

 

"Oh!", the brown eyed boy hummed. He rested his hand on Louis's shoulder and nodded. "Okay. Just know that I find this oddly stupid than.", he shrugged nonchalantly.

 

Louis looked up. "What's stupid? That I like him?!", he asked half offended.

 

Liam shook his head immediately, giggling. "No, silly! The fact that you're still not together! Since you both like each other and all..."

 

Louis rolled his eyes. "It's not that easy..."

 

"Oh. It's not?", Liam asked raising an eyebrow, as if mocking Louis.

 

The feathery haired boy groaned. "No! It's not! I like him, but after everything, I highly doubt he likes me back! I was a right prick to him!", he said, frustration filling his veins.

 

Liam sighed. "And /I/ highly doubt he could ever /not/ love you. Just tell him.", he advised before turning around and leaving the house.

 

Louis stood there for some minutes, listening to Liam's car being started and driving off. The older boy of the One Direction band leaned his forehead against the door and sighed deeply.

 

He turned around and slowly walked to the end of the corridor, where he turned left to enter the living room. There, Harry was standing, turned to the door, his mouth agape and eyes wide. Just standing there. Staring straight at Louis. Simply standing there.

 

Louis freaked out at Harry's expression and slightly pale(r) skin. The boy looked like he had just seen a ghost!

 

"Harry?", he called out, reaching a hand out to touch the boy's arm. When he got no reaction, he spoke louder while he shook his band mate's arm. "Hazz! What's wrong? You're freaking me out! Are you alright?"

 

Harry suddenly snapped out of his trance and closed his mouth. His hand slowly raised from his side and he pointed at Louis accusingly. "Y-You... You just..."

 

Louis looked at Harry's hand and then back up at his face. "I what?! Hazz, what d'I do?!"

 

Harry gasped, a hand flying to his lips. He then uncovered them and pointed at Louis again. "You said it."

 

Louis raised an eyebrow at him and shook his head in confusion. "What did I say that made you so shocked?!"

 

Harry shook his head too. "L-Lou, I... I heard you! You and Liam! I... I heard you!"

 

Louis froze. He felt his body go numb and his mind shutting down. His eyes widened and his blood went cold. He took his hand off Harry's shoulder and took a step back. "W-What?! What did you hear?!", he panicked.

 

Harry gulped. "Everything."

 

Louis fell to the floor and hugged his knees, focusing his stare somewhere in front of him as he leaned his back against the couch, turning away from Harry. "No. No no no no no! No way! Y-You couldn't have heard me. Nope! You're lying! It's a dream. A dream, that's all! I'll wake up and-- and you won't know! I'll just-- you won't even imagine! You can't! You're not supposed to!", he rambled.

 

Harry frowned and kneeled next to him. He held Louis's knees and stopped his rocking motions. "Lou, look at me! It's okay! Please! Stop!"

 

Louis kept whispering to himself, trying to convince his brain that it was 'just a dream'.

 

"Louis! Stop!", Harry nearly yelled.

 

The panicked boy did and looked at him with wide, frantic eyes. "W-What?"

 

"You like me.", Harry let out in a single breath. "You like me, Louis Tomlinson."

 

Louis shook his head and sighed. "I... I just...", he ended up nodding. "I do. I like you, Harry Styles."

 

Harry smiled and caressed Louis's cheeks. He felt a hot tear running down his own cheek. "How could you not tell me this?"

 

Louis felt the lump grow in his throat. "I... I couldn't. I was bad and I... You hated me! You should! You were right if you did--"

 

"But I don't!", Harry interrupted him.

 

Louis stared at him. "Y-You don't?"

 

Harry shook his head again. "No. I could never hate you, Boo! I love you...", he whispered, leaning his forehead on Louis's.

 

The older of the two took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "You love me.", he repeated.

 

Harry nodded and smiled, laughing in relief while crying freely. "I love you."

 

Louis swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded too, letting a smile part his lips. He let go of his knees and placed his hands on top of Harry's. He opened his eyes and stared deep into his crush's beautiful green eyes. "You love me.", he said again, letting the words sink in. "You love me. And I love you."

 

Harry cried harder and dried Louis's tears that had, in the meantime, spilled out. "I love you too, baby. So much."

 

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's neck and bumped their noses together. "I love you, Harry! I love you! I really love you! I'm sorry it took me so long! I love you!", he repeated those words a thousand time, tears running down his soft cheeks.

 

Harry whispered them right back, without an ounce of hesitation.

 

"Kiss me Harry. Kiss me!", Louis begged, pushing Harry back, making him sit on the carpeted floor, and sitting on his lap.

 

Harry nodded. "I love you.", he panted through heavy breaths.

 

Their lips finally met in a passionate kiss. It was fierce and sloppy, their ragged breaths allowing them only a few seconds of lust before having to pull away to breathe. It was so intense that Harry's head was spinning.

 

He didn't know if this was just one of his dreams, but he had Louis in his arms for now. And he swore to protect him from everything that so much as tried to make his boy fall and break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So?? How was it?!
> 
> Okay, so: this is kind of a nice end for the chapter. But should I just drop the story here or should I make one more chapter or two? If so, what would you want me to add to it? Them telling the boys? Their management? Coming out? If so, how?
> 
>  
> 
> Leave your suggestions below! :) Thank you for reading!! <3


	10. I can do it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do you tell people something as important as a new relationship? Harry didn't know either. So let's figure it out with them, shall we?! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait once more! And I'm sorry if this chapter isn't very exciting, but it's kind of essential, y'know? Just to add the feelings... :) Enjoy!

Harry couldn't sleep.

 

He was laying in his bed, staring at ceiling, as he ran his long fingers through Louis's soft hair. He took a deep breath and sighed heavily, closing his eyes and focusing on the thought of nothing, trying to get the darkness to swallow him.

 

"Hazz?", a hoarse voice rasped from his chest.

 

Harry's eyes shot open again and he looked down, meeting Louis's intense glare. He smiled slightly. "Go to sleep, Boo. It's late.", he ordered.

 

Louis frowned and looked at the watch placed on Harry's bedside table. In big red numbers, he could read '03:24', the two dots in the middle shining and disappearing from second to second.

 

"Why aren't /you/ sleeping?", he sleepily asked, flashing his blue eyes at the curly haired pillow below him.

 

Harry carefully shrugged, noticing the way the older male was still laying on top of him. "Couldn't.", he simply explained.

 

Louis yawned and nuzzled Harry's neck, making the latter chuckle and tighten his grip on the other boy's hips.

 

"Something's troubling you."

 

Harry froze and tried to keep a steady breathing.

 

The shorter boy looked up again. "See?"

 

Harry sighed and pushed Louis's head gently on his chest again, inhaling the boy's sweet vanilla scent. He simply hummed.

 

"I'm not gonna ask Hazz, so just say it.", Louis mumbled against Harry's collarbones.

 

"It's nothing you have to worry about, Lou. Just sleep. Tomorrow we'll talk."

 

In a sudden movement, Louis's head was up again and his tiny palms were pressed against Harry's chest, holding him up as he stared at Harry with a worried expression. "You're not gonna... Are you?", he hesitantly frowned.

 

Harry quickly got the message and immediately shook his head. "Not in a million years babe!", he lifted a hand to caress the boy's cheek.

 

Louis relaxed into the touch and sighed, laying on Harry's body like before. "Okay."

 

Harry chuckled. "Love, I finally have you sleeping in my arms! Why would I ever let you go?"

 

Louis giggled and shyly hid his reddish face on the taller boy's neck.

 

"Lou?", Harry broke the comfortable silence. The other boy only hummed, so he continued. "I'm just thinking about everything. I mean... How are we gonna tell people? Well, /what/ are we gonna tell people?", he paused. In a whisper he added the question that had been keeping him awake. "What /are/ we?"

 

Louis immediately looked at him and they stayed like that, staring at each other in silence for a few seconds before Louis leaned down and pressed his thin lips against Harry's. Hard enough to bruise them if he had kissed him for any longer than he did. When he pulled away, he sighed happily and leaned his forehead against the curly lad's. "I love you Hazz. I wanna be with you."

 

Harry smiled and gave Louis an eskimo kiss. "Perfect.", he whispered like it was their secret.

 

Louis grinned from ear to ear and giggled.

 

"Now, as for my other question...", Harry started.

 

Louis shrugged. "We'll just say it. It's not gonna be a big deal! The boys are already waiting for it anyway!"

 

Harry sighed and sat up slightly, pulling Louis closer to him. As the smaller man straddled him, he pulled the covers up to keep themselves warm. "It's not the boys I'm worried about, Boo... It's the fans! It's Modest! Simon! How are we gonna tell them that 'Hey! Me and Lou kiss now, but don't mind too much, yeah?'", he teased. He also couldn't help but smile slightly at Louis's melodious laugh echoing in the dark room.

 

"I don't know Hazz... We'll figure it out. We always do.", he kissed Harry's lips gently.

*****

When Louis woke up the morning after, he was expecting to be alone, since every morning Harry would wake up earlier than him to cook him something (way too much food, if you asked Louis. But he ate it, just to make the curly boy happy.).

 

So when he opened his eyes and felt Harry's chest rising and falling steadily under his head, he frowned as he yawned, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

 

"Morning Boo.", he heard the familiar deep voice say.

 

Louis smiled and looked up. "Morning Hazza.", he stretched his neck to plant a soft kiss on his boyfriend's lips. "Still sleepy?", he asked, closing his eyes and resting his head on Harry's shoulder again.

 

His boyfriend rubbed his back. "Not much, no."

 

"Than why you still in bed?"

 

"Just to keep you company. Plus, I like to watch you when you're sleeping."

 

A kiss was pressed to Louis's forehead and he smiled. However, he also knew Harry better than that. His voice was slightly shaky (not enough for anyone else to notice, but Louis did) and his hand was nervously rubbing unshaped patterns on Louis's back.

 

"You're lying."

 

Harry frowned and looked down. "What?! I'm not!"

 

Louis looked at him and slightly sat up, supporting his weight on his elbow and pressing his face to his palm. "I mean, I believe it when you say you like to keep me company. But I know you're still thinking about it.", he ran his fingers through Harry's hair, pushing it back slowly.

 

Harry almost purred and closed his eyes. "It?"

 

"Yes. It. You still don't know how to tell people we're together. And that's freaking you out.", he stared into Harry's eyes as he hesitantly opened them. "Because anything that /isn't/ in your control and can take an unexpected turn has that effect on you."

 

Harry just stood there, listening carefully.

 

Louis chuckled and gave him an eskimo kiss while wrapping his arms around the boy's neck. "And that's okay. Everyone's scared sometimes babe. And you have the right to be!"

 

The younger of the two wrapped his longer arms around his boyfriend's (still thin) waist. "Than how come you're so calm about it? Why aren't you afraid of what might happen?"

 

Louis looked into his deep green eyes and massaged his scalp lovingly. He leaned down and kissed Harry deeply, showing his love through it.

 

The kiss was passionate, slow, careful. It was theirs. Their little moment. A bubble that no one could ever break. And in that moment, Harry might have (he totally did) forgotten the problem that filled his mind.

 

Because Louis was there, on top of him, kissing him passionately like he had always wanted. The boy he now called his boyfriend had his small body engulfed in Harry's long arms. And he was all his. He loved him /so/ much...

 

Harry was scared. It's true. But, in Louis's words, everyone is scared sometimes, right?! Because sometimes, life throws arrows at you! And sometimes, those arrows hit you right in your chest! It's painful. But there's someone to help you. You also have your own Louis! You just have to look around and find him! (Really, find your own! Harry's very selfish...)

 

All the memories of him and Louis, all the thoughts of what they've been through, all the feelings that filled Harry's heart brought tears to his closed eyes.

 

And he let them fall.

 

When they pulled away, Harry sobbed silently. He didn't retaliate when Louis wrapped his bigger body in his arms, shushing him quietly with small kisses and loving words.

 

"I love you baby... I love you so much!", Louis whispered.

 

Harry knew.

 

He loved him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So?! Next chapter we'll tell everyone (that's the goal at least). So stay tuned! :) Love you all!! <3 - M .x
> 
> PS: Kudos and comments are always welcomed! :)


	11. "We're together."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to tell their friends... How are they going to react??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, ran out of lines of the song to put as a title... xD anyway... Hope you like it!! :)

"Yup?", Liam said through the call he had just picked up from Harry.

 

"Important meeting at mine and Louis's. Be here in ten. I already called the others. See ya!", Harry nervously rambled. He immediately hung up before his bandmate could answer, sighing in relief as he slumped on the couch.

 

Louis soothingly rubbed his back, leaning over the couch to kiss his boyfriend's cheek. "Everything will be okay. I promise."

 

Harry tilted his head to side to allow Louis some space to kiss his neck. "I suppose."

 

Louis gingerly placed his lips on Harry's pale skin, sucking a soft mark on it and then kissing it. He massaged the younger boy's shoulders and then proceeded to sit next to him, resting his tired legs on the other's lap.

 

Harry ran his big hands through Louis's legs and took a deep breath. "Now we wait."

 

Louis nodded and smiled at him. "Now we wait."

*****

Three knocks were heard from the living room and Harry quickly stood up, muttering an 'I'll go' before leaving his two best friends (Zayn and Niall, who were already there) and his boyfriend for a few seconds.

 

"So...", Zayn dragged the word out, looking intensely at Louis.

 

Said boy shook his head. "Nope!"

 

The dark skinned boy groaned and threw his head back in frustration. "You're getting us all worried!", he complained.

 

"Just wait for Liam, Christ's sake!", Louis answered.

 

As soon as the new guest was in the room, followed by Harry, he sat down next to Niall, greeting all of his friends, and they all looked at the two main people in the room.

 

Harry started getting a little fidgety, which everyone noticed. So Louis squeezed his thigh and smiled at him before inhaling deeply and turning to his friends. "So first things first. Hi!", they all stared at him like he was crazy, so he kept talking. "So, me and Harry have an announcement."

 

Harry took the time to watch his friends' reactions to this.

 

Liam raised an eyebrow, glancing at the two boys beside him and landing his stare on Louis and Harry again.

 

Zayn stood motionless, as if he had been expecting this for some time.

 

And then there was Niall, who furrowed his eyebrows and glared at Louis intensely, moving his eyes up and down his body. Maybe he thought it had something to do with Louis's health which, honestly, was the most reasonable explanation for an 'urgent meeting'.

 

"So?! Are you gonna tell us or are you gonna watch us die trying to guess?", the blond boy finally broke the silence.

 

Louis chuckled and nodded. "Okay.", he reached for Harry's hand, holding it tightly and lacing their fingers together. "So, uhm... You've probably been waiting for this but--"

 

"Me and Lou are together!", Harry almost yelled.

 

He held his breath afterwards, waiting for their reactions to change. They did (well, all but Zayn's, who sat there looking rather unimpressed). Niall's mouth fell wide open, his eyes following the motions. Liam's shoulders slumped and he took a deep breath.

 

"Oh!", the latter simply said.

 

Louis bit his bottom lip. "Oh?! What does that mean?"

 

Liam chuckled and stood up, walking over to them both and hugging them tightly. "It means 'oh'!", he laughed while pulling away. "That's not such a big surprise."

 

"It's not?", Harry confusedly asked.

 

"Not really.", Zayn interjected. He walked next to Liam and smiled at his friends. "It was inevitable."

 

Harry chuckled and looked at his and Louis's hands, hiding his blush. "I guess..."

 

They all suddenly remembered Niall, and were quick to turn their heads to him. The Irish boy just sat there in what seemed absolute shock.

 

"Or maybe it wasn't so obvious for everyone...", Zayn almost silently mumbled.

 

Louis walked up to him and got on his knees to be at his height. "Niall? Lad? Are you al--"

 

Niall launched himself at the blue eyed boy and hugged him tightly. "Fucking finally, you two! My ship could never sink! I'm the best captain ever!", he yelled.

 

Everyone apart from Harry laughed, while the latter only looked confused at Liam and Zayn. They shook their heads at him in a 'doesn't matter' way.

 

Harry shrugged and sighed. "So the easy part's done. Now for the more complicated one..."

 

Louis pulled away from his embrace with Niall and looked at him. "I know baby. We'll be fine."

 

"Are we talking about the management?", Liam asked.

 

They both nodded.

 

"We'd be glad to go with you!", Niall suggested.

 

"Really?", Louis hesitantly looked around at his bandmates.

 

Zayn smiled and patted his shoulders. "Of course man! What are we here for if not for the hard times?"

 

Louis's eyes filled with tears and he hugged his friend.

 

Soon, they all joined in, tightening their grip on each other. They'd be fine. When were they not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So?? Did you like it?? Next chapter, telling the management I think... Not sure though. I'm working on other stories too. Let me know what you thought of this! :) Thank you for reading!! Love you all! - M .x
> 
>  
> 
> PS: Kudos and comments are appreaciated! :)


	12. "We're together, Simon."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a great talk with the boys, it was time to tell their management. But we all know how hard it can be to tell a superior about such a secret. It's just sad that in the 21st century you still have to get nervous about it all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! Good luck, and just know that I'm sorry about this! I actually pictured it in my mind and it was heartbreaking! :'( Love you!

They had been sitting in front of Simon Cowell's desk for the past ten minutes, glancing at each other occasionally, as well as their boss.

 

Simon typed a few more quick words into his keyboard and finally took his round glasses off, carefully resting them on top of some papers carelessly thrown in the big table, and looking at the five nervous boys waiting for his attention.

 

"What was so urgent that couldn't wait until Saturday boys? You know I have a lot of work to do, so let's make this quick.", his eyes scanned the group and landed on Louis. "Are you okay?"

 

The older of the five nodded immediately, sitting straight in his chair and gulping slightly. "Uhm, yeah. It's nothing like that.", he rubbed his hands together to ease some of the tension building in his body.

 

Simon raised an eyebrow at them. "Well? What is it?"

 

Liam stepped in, as he always did in the hard times. "Simon, we can come in another day if you want. This is just really not something we can just say and go away right after. It's a little more...", he looked at his friends while he searched for the right word in his mind.

 

"Complicated?", Niall tried.

 

"Complicated.", Liam confirmed.

 

Their manager sighed and leaned forward, supporting his weight on his forearms. He shook his head while massaging his temples. "No, fine! Go ahead. I'm listening."

 

"So...", Zayn started. "I think we should let them say it, right lads?", he looked at Niall and Liam, who nodded in approval.

 

Their heads turned to Louis and Harry, along with Simon's, who seemed to suddenly be more interested in the conversation between the band members.

 

Louis gulped once more and felt a squeeze in his thigh. Harry. He relaxed (the best he could) and swept his forehead off his eyes, landing them on the older man. "So... Uhm... There's not an easy way to say this but... Hazz?", he panicked.

 

Harry nodded assuringly and pushed his insecurities to the back of his mind. This was about him and Louis, and he had to make it for the sake of them. "You know how me and Lou are so close, right? I mean, we share an apartment, we look out for each other - not that the boys don't! But that's not the point! - we created this special... bond between us. And it kinda... grew?", he said in more of a question tone than a statement.

 

Simon's head lifted and he squinted his dark eyes at them. "Grew?", he repeated.

 

Harry looked at Louis, searching for encouragement. He didn't find much in his boyfriend's fearful and hesitant eyes, trembling with small salty drops. "Yes."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

A beat passed and none of the five friends said anything, all just waiting for this meeting to miraculously end.

 

Zayn talked. "C'mon guys. We're here no matter what.", he smiled at them.

 

Louis smiled back and took a deep breath. He stared at Simon for a few seconds before--

 

"We're dating."

 

Another beat passed. Followed by a thousand more. Their breaths hitched in their throats, their eyes widening in expectancy and their backs leaning off of the chairs.

 

Simon didn't utter a word, simply returning to his endless typing on the shiny keyboard, his glare fixed on the computer screen.

 

They all frowned at their boss' behaviour, sharing worried glances and whispered words of confusion.

 

"What the hell just happened?!", Louis whispered to Zayn, who was sitting beside him.

 

"I have no idea mate, but, in all honesty, this doesn't seem like it'll be any good...", his dark skinned friend answered back.

 

And Louis knew. He saw it in Simon's eyes the minute they delivered the news. He just didn't want to hear it out loud... It made it that little bit more real... And Louis never really liked reality. It was too terrifying.

 

After what seemed like an eternity (but must have been about five minutes), Harry decided it had been too long and spoke up.

 

"Simon? Aren't you gonna say anything?", he waited. Nothing was heard but the annoying sound of the keyboard being relentlessly hit. "Anything at all?", still nothing.

 

"'Oh! Great news boys! I thought we would have to wait a few more years!', he says with a twinkle in his eyes never seen before!", Niall teased, making his voice a little deeper for what was the part they wanted to hear from their manager.

 

The other four looked at him, furrowing their eyebrows and shaking their heads in confusion.

 

The blond shrugged, his playful smile fading. "What?!"

 

Simon finally looked up (after pressing a few keys a little to harshly) and stared at Louis and Harry. "Never talk about that again. End it. Now get out.", he coldly said.

 

They all stood there in shock for some seconds before Harry stood up and gasped. "Simon?!", he yelled. "Did you just...?! Oh my god! You can't be... You're not serious, are you?! End it?! Simon, why would we-- Look at me, damnit!", he shouted at the man, planting his palms on the desk harshly.

 

Louis stood up immediately, with Liam hot on his trail. He grabbed Harry's arms softly and leaned his head down to whisper in Harry's ear. "Baby, please! Stop! Let's stay calm!"

 

"Calm?!", Harry raised his voice even more. "This... This... This man just told me to break up with the love of my life and he won't give me a fucking reason for it, and you want me to /calm down/?!", he shouted.

 

Louis rubbed Harry's biceps soothingly, ignoring the tears that ran down his own cheeks. "I know, my love! I know... But don't yell, please! Please, Hazza! You know I hate fights!", he pleaded.

 

"Simon?!", Liam looked at him in disbelief. "W-What...?!"

 

"What's on your mind, old man?!", Zayn interrupted. "Are you crazy? Why? What the fuck are you thinking?"

 

"Guys, please!", Niall begged, feeling the sudden urge to cry too.

 

"I can't believe you Simon...", Liam barely said.

 

"Give me a goddamn reason!", Harry yelled again, ignoring Louis's constant pleas for him to stop. "One fucking reason!"

 

All of a sudden, they were all yelling on top of each other, their words blending in a mix of frustration, sadness, and confusion. None of them were good feelings.

 

"Enough!", Simon shouted above all their pleas for an explanation. When the room went silent, Harry still fuming and Louis sobbing, he sighed heavily. "I don't want to hear anything about this ever again. You are /not/ aloud to tell this to anyone. This would ruin your imagine that has taken so many years to build. So, unless you want to end this band and this whole project right here and right now, I advise you not to tell a single soul.", he sat down again with a calm that wasn't supposed to be there.

 

The silence stretched for excruciatingly long minutes.

 

"C'mon boys.", Liam's voice cut through. "Let's get out of here.", he suggested as he grabbed Louis's arm, knowing how affected and disturbed this conversation had gotten him.

 

"Yes, we should.", Niall agreed.

 

The three of them, followed by Zayn, walked towards the exit. The latter opened the door and turned to where Harry was still standing, glaring at Simon in shock. "Hazz, let's go mate.", he called.

 

The curly boy was silent for about ten seconds, tightening his grip on the table, before he spoke up, directing his cold words to his boss. "You're the devil. I hope you feel what you make us feel sometime in life. It's no less than you deserve...", and he turned around, ignoring his boss' calls, exiting the room.

 

The other four looked down at their feet. This was a hard moment (that's the understatement of the year!) for the band, and most certainly for the two lovers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a scale from 1 to 10 (1 being "Nothing" and 10 being "I hope I never meet you because you're a terrible person") how much do you hate me right now?! Haha! Once again, sorry! Let's see what happens next, and I can tell you that someone (who?!) will appear in the next chapter to be a huge support to one of the boys! Can you guess it? :) haha! Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos, please?! :)


	13. Someone is back...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Louis was recovering faster than ever (mostly due to his happiness with his boyfriend), everything is going downhill again.  
> Is anyone gonna be able to do anything for him? For them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so terribly sorry for the loooong wait! There have been some complications, but I think I might be back... Let's see. :) Thank you if you waited this long!

"Lou?", Harry knocked on their bedroom door lightly with his free hand, the other one holding a tray of food freshly cooked.

 

The answer he got was the same it had been for the past two days. None. Ever since their talk with Simon, Louis hadn't left his room nor talked to anyone aside from Harry. And the couple's conversations consisted of "Yes" and "No" questions. Louis seemed too weak to talk much more, in all honesty...

 

Harry sighed and slowly opened the door, peeking inside. He was immediately confronted with the now familiar image of his boyfriend laying down on the bed, his head turned away from the light that entered through the window, and his clothes were still the same Harry put on him the day before.

 

Carefully, the younger of the pair made his way to his lover and put the tray on the bedside table, taking a sit next to Louis's body and rubbing his hands up and down his back.

 

"C'mon Lou... You haven't eaten properly in two full days.", he tried. Nothing happened, Louis didn't even move. Harry took a deep breath. "Your mum called... She's worried. We all are."

 

Louis finally turned to look at him and rested his seemingly heavy head on Harry's pillow again (he had been using it for the last couple of days. He had always said it smelled like Harry). "Not hungry.", he mumbled, closing his eyes and letting out a shaky breath.

 

Harry sighed quietly. "Baby, please! You have to eat! You don't want to get worse, do you?", he reasoned. "I didn't make too much, ok? Just a few bites, Lou. For me. Please?"

 

Louis gave him an hesitant look before sitting up. It took him some time to complete the action, but he eventually did it. "Fine."

 

Harry smiled. "That's my boyfriend!"

 

Louis forced his lips to curve upwards, taking the plate Harry handed him. But as soon as the smell hit his nostrils, he gagged and put his hand in front of his mouth, pushing Harry's hand aside and jumping out of bed. He ran to the bathroom without glancing at his boyfriend.

 

"Lou?!", Harry half-yelled as the blue eyed boy disappeared around the corner of the hallway. "Louis, what's wrong baby?", he ran after him, leaving the food forgotten on their bed.

 

Harry made it to the bathroom, entering just in time to see his boyfriend lean over the toilet and throw up. He rushed to kneel beside him and rubbed his back soothingly, combing his hair with soft, firm strokes.

 

Louis spit a few more times before breathing heavily. "Hazz, I--", he gagged again but stopped the urge to spill his stomach's few contents. "Leave. I don't want you to see me like this!", he nearly begged. His words were all jumbled together, as if he was afraid of not being able to finish his sentence before another wave of wooziness hit him.

 

Harry cooed at him. "I'm not going anywhere, my love. I'm here."

 

Louis looked at him with teary eyes and a slightly wobbling bottom lip. "I don't know what to do Hazza...", he sobbed. "Why us?"

 

Harry blinked rapidly in an attempt of trying to stop his own tears from spilling. He used his thumb to wipe Louis's, kissing his forehead lovingly and wrapping him in his arms. "I don't know, love... I don't know.", his voice cracked and they just sat there, crying into each other's arms.

 

The question hung heavily in the air. Unanswered.

 

Why them?

*****

Needless to say Louis didn't eat anything that day (apart from an apple that Harry practically forced him to swallow).

 

It was now past five in the afternoon, and Louis was alone at home. Harry trusted him to take care of himself for the hour he would be gone to go grocery shopping. Of course Louis had had to insist a little bit.

 

He was sitting in the couch, flipping through some channels until he stopped at a football match. He didn't know who was playing, neither who was winning. He just wasn't paying much attention at all.

 

Suddenly, three soft knocks on the door made his eyes open again (he was so bored and tired he had almost fallen asleep). Louis sighed and curled in on himself. He would just pretend no one was home.

 

It didn't work.

 

The visitor insisted and knocked three more times, this time with a little more energy and a little louder.

 

"Hello?", they called from outside.

 

The voice that flew to Louis's ears made his eyes widen and his mouth fall open. He slowly got up and walked to the door, shock evident in his face.

 

Louis tried to wipe the surprise off his face before opening the door.

 

"Geez Lou! What happened to you?", the girl asked.

 

Louis's hair was greasy and disheveled. His bare feet were frozen in place and his legs were covered in some baggy grey pants he had found in his and Harry's wardrobe. The white shirt he wore was falling to one side, showing his left shoulder and his (too) defined collarbones.

 

She slightly leaned forward and rearranged it, smiling at him afterwards.

 

Louis gulped and shook his head slowly, as if he didn't believe his eyes.

 

"Eleanor?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So?! Did you expect that? ;) Please leave your comments below! And kudos are appreciated! :D
> 
> Love you all! - M .x


	14. The wake up call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Eleanor shows up, her and Louis have a much needed conversation. And maybe, just maybe, that's exactly what Louis needed to get out of his shell...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!! :) Yey!! So I'm actually loving Eleanor in this! #GirlsPower !! Hahaha! Just read and maybe you'll understand! ;) Hope you like it! :)

The steam was wafting from Louis's cup, blurring the female figure sitting across from him. He still couldn't believe his ex-girlfriend was there, right in front of him, drinking some coffee in his and his boyfriend's house!

 

"You look... different.", Eleanor said. Her lips puckered and she blew her coffee before taking a sip from it, smiling at Louis afterwards.

 

Louis chuckled ironically. "You can say it. I look hideous.", he corrected.

 

The brunette frowned. "Well, not hideous. Skinny, maybe.", she saw Louis's eyebrow lift. "Too skinny..."

 

Louis sighed, putting his cuppa on the small table in the centre of the living room. "You too?"

 

Eleanor sighed as well. "Louis, I... I've been seeing the pictures that the fans manage to get online. I was worried, that's all..."

 

"Well, you don't have to be! I'm perfectly fine. Really!"

 

Suddenly, Louis started coughing violently and breathing was becoming harder for the boy.

 

"Lou, are you okay?!", Eleanor worriedly asked. She patted Louis's back softly to help him calm down, and that's when she felt his prominent bones through his skin and shirt. She gasped. "Oh. My. God."

 

Louis calmed down after a while and rapidly pushed her hand away. "I'm good, thanks."

 

Eleanor sat there in shock. "Louis, you... What the--", she reached her hand out to touch Louis's back again but he quickly flinched away.

 

"Don't!", he stood up immediately and wrapped his arms around himself, bitting his lip nervously.

 

The girl stood up slowly. "Please Louis. Stop this madness!", she softly begged him. "I mean, look at you! You're... what?! 110 pounds?!", she indignantly asked crossing her arms in front of her chest.

 

Louis blushed and shyly answered. "Actually... It's 101... approximately..."

 

She gasped again. "W-What? How? I mean-- Does Harry even know this?"

 

Louis's eyes widened and he started panicking. "H-Harry? No! Not a chance! I don't even--", he cut himself off, staring into Eleanor's eyes.

 

She lifted her eyebrows at him. "You don't even... what?"

 

He sighed and fell on the floor, pushing his knees to his chest and bitting his lip again. "I don't... I haven't, like... I don't... undress in front of him anymore... Except those times when he makes me shower.", he confessed, embarrassment evident in his words.

 

Eleanor cooed and sat down next to him. "Lou... This... This is not healthy! It's not healthy for you alone and it's not healthy for your relationship!"

 

Louis looked at her.

 

She sighed. "Do you know what your problem is?"

 

"Bulimia?! Yeah, the doctors have told me--"

 

"No, you idiot! It is your lack of confidence in yourself!", she said while looking in his eyes. "And if you don't stop this nonsense, Harry will start thinking your lack of confidence is in him!"

 

Louis sniffled, holding his tears back. "But you don't know how hard it is--", his yells were cut off by Eleanor, who stood up and yelled back.

 

"No! No I don't! But Harry does! And I'm sorry that I have to be the one telling you this, but you're making this all about yourself and forgetting that he's hurting too!", Louis just sat there listening to her words. "He's also in this relationship! And while he's been worried about healing you, he's leaving his own wounds open! Because he's focusing his attention on you! The love of his life! And you should be doing the same! Because that's the purpose of a relationship! It's for you to care for each other! And do you know what's the difference between your reaction to this problem and his?", she paused. When getting no response, she answered herself. "It's that while you cry every day, in his arms, he cries whenever he's alone just so he won't make you feel worse! Just so you won't worry about him!"

 

The silence filled the room again. The two stared at each other for long minutes until Louis stood up and a tear rolled down his cheek.

 

"I'm the worst boyfriend in the world, aren't I?"

 

Eleanor massaged her temples and stepped forward, pushing Louis into a hug. "No Lou! Sometimes you just... Forget how to be the amazing boyfriend you can be."

 

Louis cried in her shoulder, holding her tightly. Never had the brunette's presence been so important to him.

*****

The front door unlocked. "Babe? I'm home!", Harry called.

 

The house was silent. No answer was heard.

 

Harry started worrying. Had something happened to Louis? If it did, he would never forgive himself! Why had he left Louis alone? He knew how vulnerable he was! He knew his condition! He should have been smarter than that! He should have-- Wait... What's... What's that?

 

Harry frowned. "Lou?"

 

He walked upstairs, where the whispers came from. He suddenly realised they were coming from his and Louis's room. Frowning, Harry put his ear on the door and listened carefully.

 

"I have to do this. I need this. We need this. C'mon Louis! If someone is and always will be there for you, it's Harry!"

 

The curly boy was confused. What was Louis doing? He softly knocked on the door (he ignored the squeak of surprise). "Lou? Can I come in?"

 

"Uhm... Yes! Sure!"

 

Harry opened the door carefully. He peeked inside and there Louis stood, his hands crossed in front of his body and his head held down, the fringe slightly falling into his beautiful blue eyes. Harry closed the door behind himself. "Everything okay baby?"

 

Louis looked up, the tears already threatening to fall. "I... I love you.", he whispered.

 

Harry's eyes softened and he smiled. He stepped closer to his lover. "I love you too Lou.", when he reached Louis he held his hands.

 

Louis smiled back. "There's uhm... Something I want to tell you."

 

Harry tilted his head. "Go ahead babe."

 

Louis took a deep breath. "El... El was here today."

 

Harry's eyebrows lifted and he gaped. "Oh... Really?"

 

Louis nodded and chuckled. "Yeah, same. The thing is... We talked. And..."

 

Harry waited a few seconds. "And...?"

 

Louis sighed. "And... I realised how bad of a boyfriend I have been."

 

Harry frowned. "You haven't--"

 

"Harry, please let me finish.", Louis interrupted. Harry nodded and Louis thanked him delicately. "I have been a bad boyfriend. I haven't been there for you, I haven't even asked you how you're dealing with all of this! Also, I... I don't feel comfortable with my body. You know that. So... I...", he hesitantly looked into Harry's green eyes, bitting his bottom lip.

 

Harry smiled at him soothingly and cupped Louis's cheek, using his thumb to release Louis's lip.

 

Louis smiled too. "I... need you to-- I want you to make me love myself again."

 

Harry's breath caught in his throat. "You mean..."

 

Louis nodded and smiled nervously. "Make love to me again Harry."

 

The taller boy wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's back and pushed him closer to himself. He leaned closer and let his lips linger over Louis's. "Are you sure baby?"

 

Louis sighed and closed his eyes. "One hundred percent."

 

Harry closed the distance between their lips and kissed Louis passionately. He gently lifted Louis's body and fell with him on the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So?? Did you like it?? :D Please leave your comments below!! :) Thank you!
> 
> Love you all!! - M .x

**Author's Note:**

> As I mentioned, there will be a happy ending to it, don't worry! ;) Leave comments below and kudos if you liked! Let me know if I should continue!
> 
> PS: I'm going to my dad's for the rest of the holidays, so I dunno when I'll be back to post. But I'll give it two weeks, tops! ;) .x <3 Thank you!


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